Many of us have a dialogue in our heads, from morning till night. Very often we recount our life story to ourselves and reinforce our beliefs and ideas through this story. It’s a sort of self justification for why we are where we are at any given moment. How often have you heard people tell you, ‘I am not lucky’ or ‘I am not good at that’ or even ‘I don’t like myself in photos’? We all do this. Can you imagine the type of self view we reinforce and how it blocks us from our full potential when we are constantly telling ourselves we are not good enough?
My story, that I told myself for years had the key word in it, ABANDONED. It was my perception of my experience. I was the youngest of six children, both my parents worked long hours and I was frequently home alone. When a time came when I had crisis in my life, the message I got was ‘don’t come home here’. It was tough for me. I made it even tougher by constantly telling myself I was abandoned. What I didn’t see and what I couldn’t see at the time was that my parents were busy making a living, so I could eat, have clothes, get an education. They loved me to the best of their ability only my expectations were different. However I managed to flip my self talk, and you can do it too and here is how it is done.
Step 1 : Write down the one negative from your story, preferably that of your parents. For example mine was as I said Abandoned.
Step 2: Look and see how this has become a major positive in your life
RESULT: I managed to learn that my parents absence allowed me to learn to cook and to iron my own clothes. It stimulated my imagination and caused me to read many books, and finally turned me into a lyricist, poet and story teller. I focused so much on the positive that soon the negative disappeared altogether. Now what I had previously seen as hindrance and blockage in my life , became such a blessing and a positive and I have stopped my negative self talk around this issue. I am happier, I am more creative and I am more self confident. I don’t use that word any more in relation to my story. I tell myself I am self sufficient, creative, and a damn good cook. The people I have in my life give me enough feedback that I know this is true.
You might be able to do this exercise quickly or it might take time, but I promise you it’s worth it. It’s just one more strategy to help you crack out of the circle. If you do manage it, why not leave me a comment and let me know how you get on..
Till Next time