Tips on Letting go..

I received feedback this week from a number of sources and it’s touching to see how many people are in tune with my previous post on letting go. I was asked for advice? and tips, and I had some beautiful Sharing with people.

People talked about relationships, lovers, parents and it got me thinking to share what I do in order to let go of those gone.

It’s always good to reach out to people we haven’t been in touch with in a while, but when there is no response it’s perhaps time to do some work.

So there are two main steps when you know the relationship has died.? Both of them involve writing. What I have found helpful is to sit with a pen and paper and get a bit oldschool. Make a list of what you liked about the person, about the good moments you shared together, the times you laughed or the adventures you had, or even how the sex might have been fantastic.

Now make a list of the disagreements, the upsets, the rows, the arguments, the uncomfortable moments. All of them. That is of course if you had any. Some relationships have just died gently drifting apart and that too is okay.

In relation to the part that was not so nice, which part of you, or what actions of yours can you see contributed to the situations that arose? How much of your own unhappiness are you putting on the other person? How much of it can you see was actually your own?

In relation to the more positive part, again, which parts of you, what behaviours of yours, contributed to these good times, and have you had these good moments with others, or even by yourself? In other words, how much of your happiness are you attributing to this other who has gone?

The reason for this exercise which can take just a few minutes or longer if you want, is to get balance.

That is part one. Part two is perhaps easier.??It’s time or a gratitude goodbye list. In my case I would say , thank you for loving me, goodbye I release you. Thank you for teaching me I was intelligent, goodbye I release you. I write it out. Thank you for being there for me when i needed you, goodbye I release you. Thank you for leaving me when it was needed, goodbye I release you.

For the next part, you need chord, a candle a fireproof dish and a scissors. The last part of my letting go is to tie a small chord to my waist, and tie on my gratitude and goodbye list. I burn incense, light a candle. I usually use sage for it’s healing cleansing reputation if I have it. I sit and breath deeply focusing on the person, telling them in my mind I release you and goodbye and thank you. I am not sure if the order of words is important. Really it’s the intentions that are important.

When I feel I am ready, I cut the chord and safely burn my list in the candle. I make sure I am safe and in no risk of starting a fire.? I know you might feel a bit cheesy doing this, it doesn’t matter you will be alone in your own sacred space and time.

I hope this helps you in some way to let go of those relationships in your mind and heart that no longer serve you. I thank you I release you, and goodbye……..

Have a good week.

 

2 Comments

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  1. I have to say I really like your tip for letting go in the form of the letter and attaching oneself to it with a string.

    I do something similar in my mind – look for/feel the cord(s) attaching my heart Chakra (any or all Chakra) to a person I wish to create space with and I cutting those chords in my minds eye. Sometimes the cords are thin and easy to move through; other times they are thick and I find myself working diligently to cut them. I can use my hand as a wand, or as a pair of scissors or when necessary get a sharp knife in my imagination, to separate the connection. All very safe.

    What you suggest in actually making a physical depiction of the cord with string and a letter – that could be very powerful! Very cool. We realize, of course, that there are always opportunities to reconnect down the road if that is what serves best. In the meanwhile, separating ourselves from both the intensity of another persons energy, or our attachment to them, can certainly help to bring back a healthy balance.

    I love your comment at the end reminding us we are in our sacred space doing good work for our heart and health. Not silly; sacred! I totally agree! Also, offering gratitude in the process is of the utmost importance. I have some thoughts on the ‘I release you’ idea with regards to the two way connections but that may be safe to leave for a different discussion. 😉

    Thanks for this, Colm,

  2. I have to say I really like your tip for letting go in the form of the letter and attaching oneself to it with a string.

    I do something similar in my mind – look for/feel the cord(s) attaching my heart Chakra (any or all Chakra) to a person I wish to create space with. I then cut those chords in my minds eye. Sometimes the cords are thin and easy to move through; other times they are thick and I find myself working diligently to cut them. I can use my hand as a wand, or as a pair of scissors or when necessary get a sharp knife in my imagination, to separate the connection. All very safe.

    What you suggest in actually making a physical depiction of the cord with string and a letter – that could be very powerful! Very cool. We realize, of course, that there are always opportunities to reconnect down the road if that is what serves best. In the meanwhile, separating ourselves from both the intensity of another persons energy, or our attachment to them, can certainly help to bring back a healthy balance.

    I love your comment at the end reminding us we are in our sacred space doing good work for our heart and health. Not silly; sacred! I totally agree! Also, offering gratitude in the process is of the utmost importance. I have some thoughts on the ‘I release you’ idea with regards to the two way connections but that may be safe to leave for a different discussion. 😉

    Thanks for this, Colm,

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