It’s Spring if you want it to be.

Spring traditionally was Feb 1 when I was a kid, but I lived in a different country with a different culture. Spring is a time of new beginnings, so in a sense, every day can be spring if you want it to be.

I can remember a man, he was considered holy. He told me there is no such thing as endings only new beginnings.

I liked his philosophy and I have tried to apply it in my life with varying degrees of success.

As I have often stated here, what you tell yourself, even right now reading this, is just an invention of your own, to make sense of what you experience. It’s your unique experience. We are all different yes it’s true. However we are nothing without each other. I don’t believe a community of one is viable for a human. Everything you think and feel reject and accept is because of your interactions with others.

In these interactions with others I have made choices. I can easily make excuses for those choices. I can easily say I thought that way because what of the others did or said or how I experienced them. I can easily put it down to personal, national or international culture and education. However, My life is not to be about blaming others for who I am. My life is about me being the best version of myself I can attain, to be me, being responsible for my choices. Not guilty, not shamed either. Just understanding that some of my choices were not healthy ( how could they have been? ) for myself nor for those around me.

At some stage I have to put my hand up and take responsibility, let you know I am aware I made bad choices, that regardless of my intention , you were affected, hurt by them. At some stage I am apologising for this lack of awareness and this self centered obsession that I didn’t even consider you or your feelings. I am apologising for the hurt, unintended or otherwise, and hurt that I will not diminish, or belittle. I respect it as being your hurt and I acknowledge that it came from my behaviour and I am sorry.

Once I can accept my past and own it, I have a new beginning. Once I have a new beginning, then everyone else has one too.

Enjoy your spring.

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