Where am I ? How did I get here?

It seems strange writing about how a place came to be, that doesn’t exist yet. Where I am at present is a place of flux, ignorance, stress, and faith.

Is this where I write about my story of addiction? It’s pretty mundane I would say, only it’s not pretty and mundane is a word used by those who have lived more, when they judge those who have lived less.

At present I am in a situation which is enviable. I have time and I have money coming in. It won’t last. My first plan is to do an Masters in Psychology, my second to buy a farm somewhere. My third plan is bring all that together to set up The Healing Path.

French law and administration is a nightmare even for the French. I am currently working with someone who is supposed to be helping. As I tried to explain the project , I mentioned I was going to Italy,

‘Yes but this isn’t Italy’, she interjected before I could finish my sentence.

Later after many other interjections I tried to explain about a project I know of here in France, but that didn’t wash with her either, she was asking questions of me, that I should be asking of her. It was early morning I hadn’t meditated yet. She talked about this medical set up and finally I lost my cool. I found myself shouting and trembling.

” For God’s sake, shut up and let me talk, how can I explain anything to you if you keep interjecting? It’s not possible, this my life and my future here we are talking about, you understand nothing of the project. You are the one supposed to be telling me how to go about it. You are not listening, you are not letting me speak, really it’s not possible”

The last time I lost my cool through frustration was about 4 years ago. It’s not normal for me. A loved one had been incredibly short with me the night before and I hadn’t slept well.

A few minutes later still trembling I apologised for loosing my cool, she was very calm and offhand and forgiving. At least her attitude changed and she started to listen. She is set on my opening an association. It requires a secretary, a treasurer and a chairperson. I don’t have three people, I have me.

‘You can’t do it all alone, its not possible’ she told me. I don’t believe her.

Surely there must be other structures that are possible but she is not forthcoming. She is set on one answer, with no alternatives. This is extremely frustrating now.

My application to university has been accepted and my current company where I work in English, need to have the application so they can sponsor my studies. Her project manager needs it all translated into French. I don’t have the original anymore as her colleague helped me edit it and I don’t have a copy.

‘Don’t worry he will translate it into French.’

Long story short, I need to cost the project or no one will rubber stamp it. That makes sense. What is this talk of getting it rubber stamped. I am not asking for permission. I am turning my future home into a centre of recovery, in stages.

The Stages

Stage 1: Set up the property to be habitable and grow enough food for any who are living there. Those initial people may well be former addicts.

Stage 2: Welcome former addicts and alcoholics to live in a disciplined way, to learn about all aspects of food from planting to storing , preparing, cooking and selling. These sales will contribute to the centres eventual income. We have a restaurant and an online site, to sell pickles, dried products, honey, etc;

Stage 3: Now these same addicts or alcoholics learn a trade, bee keeping, market farmers, potters, wood workers, decorators, artists , massage experts, meditators, yoga teachers, etc; and their eventual businesses contribute to the centre to keep it working.

This expertise will be be sold online, in the local community and on site.

Stage 4: We seek people who will pay to come and stay and learn about food, peace, tranquillity, nature, meditation and spirituality. These are people, possibly artists, possibly former addicts and alcoholics who want time away from their busy lives.

Stage 5: We are a known centre of recovery, people come from far and wide to learn and profit from our Healing path.

None of this can happen over night in my view and this is probably a 3 or 4 year plan, so how do I cost it?

Well lets just make a start.

So my next step is to head to San Patrignano and to learn what there is to learn. In meantime I better start my research into my costs.

My actions

  1. Talk to people I know and see if they are interested in an association.
  2. Ask questions during the conference in SanPa about European funding
  3. Ask questions in San pa about financial stability and how the raise funds and how much from their own work and production.
  4. Visit Berdine with the same type of questions.
  5. Cost my first two years, including the property. What sort of revenue might we have in year 1?
  6. Fill in the forms sent to me by the support company which is kind of number 5 but more general information included.
  7. Translate the business plan into French.

I will leave the morning after writing this and it should be published, they next morning at 9 am. So if anyone is reading this. I am in Italy, I am asking my questions and doing my research. Keep me in your thoughts or prayers.

It’s an adventure, and despite the stress, anxiety, fear, I am conscious of the gratitude to. I am grateful for the adventure and this will be focus.